A few weeks ago, at the eMarketing Techniques Conference, someone asked me about Twitter. After I gave him the lay of the land he said, “Wow. That means I could put a message out there about my upcoming event, and more people would know about it, right?”

While the answer to this question is technically “yes,” the more complete answer is “yes, but….” The part that’s missing is the idea of building relationships, building credibility, and establishing a transaction of mutual value.

While a lot of people — much  like my new friend — are interested in using some of the new social networking tools, they are using the technology without a clear understanding of why. It is fairly easy to use Facebook, LinkedIn, even Twitter. But “getting it” takes a bit longer.  Still, perhaps because of the (perceived) anonymity of the process, many people just jump in and use it as their virtual playground, with predicable results: None. These are the people who say social media doesn’t work, it’s a bunch of hooey, it’s for teenagers, etc.

Jim Collins wrote a whole chapter in Good to Great about how the great companies didn’t lean on technology to generate value. Instead, they created their strategies, looked hard at their goals, then used technology to accelerate their ability to achieve their goals. This is how I think the online social networks should be approached.

To that end, social media is really a virtual form of networking. The traditional form of networking, getting out of the office and meeting people face-to-face, is one of the most powerful, effective marketing and advertising tools in any small business toolbox. But it is not something that works quickly. It takes time. There are some unwritten rules about how to network (although I’m sure someone wrote a book on it, so I use the term “unwritten” loosely here), but most of these rules follow general rules of civility. Small talk is allowed, even encouraged, because you first need to establish some relationship with a person before you can have a serious conversation.

During your conversation, you may find out that someone is from the same part of the country you grew up in, or follows the same sports team. Suddenly, this person isn’t a stranger anymore, you share things — perhaps important things — and now it becomes easier to engage in matters of business.

While there are some great networking groups out there to help you meet people face-to-face, you can do some of the same things with the online social networking tools, such as Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, blogging software, even email marketing. However, for some reason, many people begin using these tools as though they have a license to skip the normal rules of engagement and jump directly to the “buy my stuff” portion of the conversation.

Here’s a great example: Through the use of Twitter, I was able to connect with Thom Singer — someone I wanted to meet, but haven’t had the opportunity to do so through my normal networking opportunities. Then, last night at the Austin Social Media Club meeting, I met Thom in person for the first time. Because of our shared experiences on Twitter, it was easy and natural to meet him for the first time and we were able to jump-start our “real” relationship. Without the use of social media, this meeting would have taken a lot longer to develop.

• While we’re talking about technology and good ol’ fashion manners, here’s an example of how you should be careful of what you say online. I think the most important aspect of this is not the mistake, but the follow up.
• Have you ever wondered where some companies dream up their logos, such as Morton Salt’s girl with the umbrella and the Jolly Green Giant? Wonder no more.
• This is what happens when you don’t do your research. For those not in the know, the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers are mortal enemies. Think Red Sox/Yankees.